July 13 , 1 .00 am ...

Checkin in rehab.
They keep tellin that I got it all in my head , they say its time of it to go -> the infatuation, the obsessions , the addictions , the confusion ...
Maybe its time for 'these' to go.
To be casted out till I got better had been coming.
They are fed up with the promises , the lies , the lack of belief. The decision is unanimous ~ rehabilitation for a month.
The feeling is hopeless , sad , _ feel pinned to the wall. Days will surely be darker.
They look convinced in their decision , . .
Can't lift my face to face the sky , it droops to the ground.
Thoughts are endless, non-conforming.

I used to be strong , atleast I thought I used to be.
Couldn't tell them bye, can't say a word till now.
For once I don't look to tomorrow , this walls will be my company.
Atleast I have my Blackberry for the moment.
Am afraid of the usual bouts between my brain and the mind.
And I hate it when the heart acts the peacemaker.
The heart suffers the more its quite weak.
They don't give me a pen , can't jot down the fight between the two , I'm sure to be more disturbed , more to think of it which is the reason of my seclusion.

My fingers always plaiting my afro , the best they can do.
I hope I could wonder if I'd be clean in the 4 weeks of rehab.
Obviously I need to be clean before commencement of the upcoming academic year.
Maybe I won't be thinking of it , won't be obsessed of it.
These twins , the brain and the mind should think alike and help their younger sister be hardy.
I can't afford to foretell what is to be but now I pity my heart, the arena to the battle øf the twins.

Posters on the walls read ' notice of eviction ' referring to 'it' in me.
I used to love sleep now am insomniac.
I never felt cold today I feeze continually.
Thoughts used to be clear, vivid now I struggle to hold a thought.
Its July 13 now 1. 31 am. Time's draggy.

I try to think positive , can't sit down I don't believe in this idea of they holding me in a cubicle for the month.
Wasn't born a champion, neither a believer but the crisis of the twins tells it all -> am opinionated !

One.